Ross Kemp made kids cry so much they wet themselves with one of his first shows
Ross Kemp has revealed he messed up a little bit in his first acting job after he, ahem, caused some children to make a mess of their own after he took his role too far
Ross Kemp learnt that’s not the way to do it – after making crying kids wet themselves at a Punch and Judy show.
The telly hard-man – best-known as Grant Mitchell in EastEnders – admitted he went “full method” and thought he was Al Pacino. Ross, 59, said: “I was 20, fresh out of drama school and stuck in the classic Equity card Catch-22.
“The only way around it was to work in repertory theatre or theatre in education. For the younger kids, we were doing a play based on Punch and Judy. At a certain point, I steal the wizard’s sausages and, to teach me a lesson, he casts a spell to make me the size of a man.”
In his new book Take Nothing For Granted, Ross said he took the role too seriously, admitting: “I’m Punch. I’ve even reshaped my nose, so it looks more like a puppet’s nose. I look objectively terrifying.
“And for some reason I do Mr Punch… with a tinge of Manchester gangland hitman in there too. So the set spins around and I come tumbling out and I have become Mr Punch and give it ‘HELLO BOYS AND GIRLS!’ And that’s the moment the entire front row wets themselves. Kids are crying.
“Teachers are shaking their heads. Some have got their heads in their hands.
“I try and dial it down a bit, but every performer knows when they’ve lost their audience and by this point every time I say or do anything, there are all these little pairs of scared eyes staring at me. And they sit there, terrified, until the policeman comes and puts me back in my box.
“I don’t think the rest of the cast spoke to me off stage for the rest of the week, though I eventually got the hang of it. ‘Enjoy that did you?’ A very annoyed-looking man with a mop is glaring at me in the now-empty school hall. ‘Half the front row have weed themselves – you can clear it up.’
“He handed me the mop and bucket. Then he walked off. As reviews go, I’ve had worse.”
