Sister Wives’ Janelle Brown Looks Back on ‘Bittersweet’ Memories of Late Son Garrison Nearly 7 Months After His Death
Brown shared on "good days" that memories of Garrison, who died by suicide in March, make her "smile"
Sister Wives‘ Janelle Brown is sharing some “bittersweet” memories of her late son, Garrison.
The reality star, 55, shared a 2022 image of Garrison, who died by suicide at age 25 in March, alongside siblings Gabriel Brown, 22, and sister Savanah Brown, 19, on an outdoor adventure.
“My phone serves me up memories every day,” she wrote on Instagram alongside the family photo. “Often they are pictures with Garrison. On good days (and today is a good day!) they make [me] smile because I remember the event and that it was a fun day.”
“There is always a bittersweet after glow but it’s still a good thing to see these time capsules,” she added.
Earlier this month, Janelle opened up to PEOPLE about being blindsided by Garrison’s heartbreaking death.
“We just had no idea that he was in that place,” Janelle shared, adding that “substance abuse” likely played a role in his state of mind before his death.
The reality star explained that she and her family members had “real conversations” about his struggles and offered “resources” to help him push past his addiction.
“We were always talking to him, we were loving him. All the things were there,” she said. “It really just was something he could not… like the demon he couldn’t get on top of the battle. He couldn’t seem to get over. And it just wasn’t for lack of love or lack of anything.”
Sometimes, Janelle admitted she can’t help but think “could we have done something more, but I don’t know.”
“I think that’s a grief trap because I think ultimately everybody is responsible for their own actions and their own decisions,” she continued. “We did everything. We really did everything that we could have done. And unfortunately, sometimes that still isn’t enough.”
“I think the biggest thing is to remember that, ‘What if I did this, could I have done this?’ That’s a weird mental game we play with ourselves sometimes when we’re in grief.”
On March 5, Garrison — who is the son of Janelle and her ex Kody Brown — was found dead in his home in Arizona. At the time, Lieutenant Charles M. Hernandez II of the Flagstaff Police Department told PEOPLE that officers responded to a report of a death inside a home and confirmed that Garrison’s brother Gabriel had “discovered Mr. Brown deceased.”
Officials later ruled his manner of death as a suicide.
Shortly after his death, Janelle and Kody shared a joint statement addressing the news on their respective Instagram pages.
“Kody and I are deeply saddened to announce the loss of our beautiful boy Robert Garrison Brown,” Janelle wrote in her post. “He was a bright spot in the lives of all who knew him. His loss will leave such a big hole in our lives that it takes our breath away. We ask that you please respect our privacy and join us in honoring his memory.”
Janelle has since paid tribute to her son on multiple occasions, including recently on what would’ve been Garrison’s 26th birthday. “We are missing you terribly today. It’s hard to believe you aren’t here anymore,” she wrote in April. “I still feel you nearby sometimes. And I’m grateful we will see each other again when my journey is completed.”
